This Afternoon. I Met The One That I Miss Recently

Today.. I met him.. the one that I miss recently...

Something about him that I cant forget.. hoho.. he has beautiful eyes, and my heart just like stop beating for a while when he’s smiling, haha.. it sounds weird.. but yes, he is the one that I miss recently..

It was rain in January when I decided to take a walk with someone after I broke up. And that was also the bad romance day I got with him.. haha.. why I say bad romance? I like him.. I like him a lot! Really.. but I guess that was just not the right time for us.. (for me as well) to make a new ‘untrusted’ relationship.. kayanya gw terlalu cepat untuk percaya bahwa gw udah nemuin ‘pengganti’ yang bs gw jadikan layaknya ‘my charming romeo prince’..

We have the same good tastes of music.. film.. and everything that i care about! What a perfect match.. hehe.. honestly.. he is a kind of boy that I like sooo much.. he is cute.. tall, he just act like he dont care.. but he just know how to act! God.. (finally I found the right words, haha) and above all.. he likes cat! Huwoooo... haha...

I was first met him at our Division meeting, he came late at that time. My kadep said that he’s face was ‘nyebelin’ haha.. we worked together in the same division. Well.. I dont have anything to be spoken.. he was just a boy.. nothing special (when the first time i saw him). Until someday after our meeting.. it was a lit bit rain, and he said that he’s hungry.. well.. ‘me too’ I said.. ‘lets go find a food!” and we were just walking in the rain.. i dont know why, but he likes ‘soto’ very much. He told me we wont eat together unless we eat soto.. well, ini anak, maksudnya apa coba.. kenal juga baru beberapa minggu, ketemu jarang.. pake ngatur2 gw mau makan apa. Tp at least, I do like soto too.. ga ada salahnya, haha..

I know him right after our dinner at that time. We talked about many things.. music.. film.. jesse mc cartney..(haha) his best friend, his family.. cats.. everything =) Gw pikir cwo kaya diua ga suka kucing, tnyata gw salah.. haha..

After several ‘blank’ sms that he sent.. several words to say.. several facebook comments.. he ask me to go out.. wow.. i dont care what the words he said.. but yes. I did think that I need someone.. and i need some fun!

I like him. And i want to know him better.. so.. i said “I do, why not?”

Sooo.. we watch film that time.. we went to several stores.. go home at big rain afternoon, see the rainbow, pass the duku palembang.. hahaha..

We seldom meet after that, he is busy.. me too.. we just meet when we have a meeting.

Dan segera saja.. semua kenangan buruk dan pikiran2 burukku melintas. He will dump me just like my EX did. Dia terlihat tidak terlalu berbeda.. dengan pemikirannya yang agak holistik yang mempertanyakan mengenai kekuasaan dan kewenangan Tuhan.. its just too deep.. (percaya ga percaya itu yg smpat kita obrolkan bersama, ga penting bgt yak? Haha.. )

Aku senang tiap bertemu dengannya.. dia tetap bergaya cool just like a ‘brandal’ prince, hahaha..

Tertawa bersamanya menjadi hiburan indah yang kadang tertutup dengan bayang pekat hitam yang datang dari masa lalu. Beribu pikiran negatif datang dan seakan menutupiku dengan setiap halaman kenangan sedih masa lalu. Ah! Aku rasa aku belum terlalu bisa melupakan masa lalu.. bukan.. bukan melupakan ‘dia’ di masa lalu. Aku juga bukan tidak mau berusaha membangun kembali. Tapi aku takut.. takut tersakiti karena alasan yang sama.

Dia, the one that I miss recently.. just came too fast.. I’m sorry.. aku sadar aku bersikap dingin dan berbeda kepadanya di hari-hari itu.. aku hanya butuh waktu. Butuh waktu untuk meyakinkan diriku bahwa ini nyata. Bahwa dia tidak akan meninggalkanku.. tapi beribu kali aku mencoba tetap saja bayang masa lalu itu datang..

maaf.. maaf untuk bersikap seakan tidak pernah terjadi apapun..

ingatkah kau saat kau bilang kau suka melukis? Haha.. I hope someday you can give me your paint just like what you said.. Do you remember when you said that you want to make a long last realationship? haha.. I dont know why but I kinda feels happy.. haha.. =)

Aku sekarang sadar aku sangat merindukanmu.. maaf membuat hubungan ini seakan yang layu sebelum berkembang. I just miss you recently.. I miss you so much until my heart just scream for wishing to rewind those memories with you.. I miss you until I cried when I heard the song that you gave me..

“Find Me Here
Speak To Me
I want to feel you
I need to hear you
You are the light
That`s leading me
To the place
where I find peace, again”

Dont you know that I listen to that song every night in my room? haha.. i believe that you will laugh when you read this.

I always wish that you’re happy.. its important to me to see you happy.. just be happy dear.. =)

I hope that today when you met me this afternoon, you will never forget me.